subconscious

i did not realise that i had fiercely asked my friend to define e word "professional" until he said so with a :X face..haha..now u make me feel guilty :)..actualli i didnt realise my tone in msn until he pointed it out. Maybe i realli cared about qualifications, to join e paper club(all e so called professionals with graded certs..) I'm trying to analyse my reaction now..i'm trying to ignore e feeling of being ostracized (theres one current incident which i dont feel like talking about it) and had succeeded in burying this feeling until my dear fren brought out e issue of qualifications again. Which in turn triggered my uneasiness, discomfort, and in return i sort of retorted back..i think..but still its my fault..if i cared about how people view this sorta issues, i should have buck up and done my exams a long time ago..not drag till now..its all my fault for being lazy, being a procrastinator, being a lazy bum:X if its my fault..y should i be angry or unsettled?? I'm realli being very unreasonable..argh..hate myself.

btw..am currently being smitten by e accessories at www.click-six.com its located at city-link mall, next to the chocolate shop..their rings are damn gorgeous! alot of bdaes to attend this week..on top of a teaching job and lasalle audition this sat. Buck up girl...:)