I can't accept.

His attitude towards certain things. Yea, we were talking about the microsite we were both working on together and he popped a question to me: Are you doing this site for money or izzit becos of me?

Warning bells were ringing in my head, scorpios are damn vindictive tts wat my cousin said. So me being a very honest, blunt, no ill intentions sagittarius replied" Hmm, if other people were to approach me to do a similiar website for them i would agreed regardless of who they are, cos there's money to be earned. " I'm not going to fake being so noble and give a hypocritical reply like" I agreed to do e website because i like you." pluuuueasezzz, spare me from puking. I mean who doesn't like money? I'm not being materialistic or wat, but pple do websites cos of cash right? If theres a very good reason tt i might do e site for free, i might consider, after i get to know him better, but not now. I have to keep some of my defences up, being e naive and ignorant me as he put it. And he CLAIMED that he likes my reply -_-'''

He said that i would be given 300 dollars for e microsite, and i said tts fine cos i'm not realli familiar with e market pricing of such stuff and this reply of mine to him already meant something from me to him. TRUST and tt i believe that he wun cheat me of money. Friendship should be build based on mutual trust and respect right? Dont harbour any ill intentions towards your friends, let down ur barriers and they would let down theirs in a matter of time. Thats what i always believe in. U'll feel so tired guarding against everyone all the time! Yup, tts my motto. So far, it hasn't disappoint me. Cos i got u guys:P U know who u are lah, ac,linda, wh, piggy, candy, qq, shunling, meitian, yuhua. But e dense headed him did not get it, i suspect tt he was trying to test me out when he said" 200 dollars can?" Then i was like "qns marks" in my mind, what’s he up to huh...and my logical reply to that was " I'm just curious, how do u guys usually split e profits and stuff? As long as its fair, i'm fine with it." My reply is fine right?? no ill intentions meant wat. And he got sort of weird lor, he said " It depends lor, on diff project scale sizes. If you think that 50%-50% is not okay to u, we can split 80%-20%. So you think 80%-20% is fine?" In his reply i can sense that he thot tt i was suspecting him of cheating me lor. Which has NEVER once crossed my mind, damn him. Xin1 Ji1 so heavy, i found him being so unreasonable, jumping to conclusions that never had existed in e lst place. And he said that he was very DISAPPOINTED wif me.

DAMN HIM LOR! I then was so sosososo disappointed with him. Is this the way that he thot of me? That i was no different from the other designers he had worked with?? It shows that he has not totally let down his barriers against me, which had hurt me. I then replied" I AM very disappointed with you, jumping to conclusions and putting me in a bad light, u should know that i'm not tt kind of person. I shadn't talk to you. Bye." I was fuming mad. I logged off msn immediately after that. HIM, always putting words in my mouth, tt i absolutely DETEST. I think that we are realli diff types of people, a relationship with him would make me and him very unhappy. Yea, sort of decided not to go into one at that moment. I was so mad at him, he called to apologise, yea, u think that its sweet of him right? I don't think so, he sounds like he still tink that hes not in the wrong to jump to conclusions (tt i thot he was cheating me) and sound so angry for something tt has never once crossed my mind( tt i think tt he is cheating me)

And to me, his apology is insincere cos he said why are we argueing over something as trivial as this?? PLEASE HOR, he always jump to conclusions and get angry easily, is this a trivial thing? I dun like people who always think e worst of people. I din realli accept his apology, i was on e mrt then. I said bye and hung up. He can think tt i'm being unreasonable or wat, tts just the way i am. He is in the WRONG. not me.

Yea, later in the night, he called me again (after i msn him to say if he wants me to help again email me te materials needed), to ask me to help in e vm site, when earlier, e petty him said that he would do e site himself and would not bother me with it. I already let down my pride and asked him lst liao k, he called and unreasonably said that if i wanna help, i can go down to his house, and guess wat? its 12am in e morning. Hes saying that delibrately and he sounded like its my fault tt e vm site is not started on yet lor. I was so pissed and i told him" No, i can do it at my place. and what are you so angry about? I'm the one who shld be angry, not u." And he said that i was getting mad over a trivial thing which he is unhappy about. To him, its trivial but to me its NOT k. I'm not him, he should stop being such male chauvunist pig. What HE FEELS, is not equal to what i FEEL. Damn him. Yah, he said, i already apologised to you , yet u say that i'm not being sincere. Yes, u are still angry, i'm not gonna do anything about that. I have my ego k. And i retorted" Yea, u have yours, i have mine oso wat. and you shouldn't always think that way of people u know( like how e other designers always wanna hack up e price), and he said" Thats becoause you are ignorant." in a mean ugly tone which i know would marr my impression of him permanently no matter how nice he would be to me in e near future, true colors of a man show in e times of crisis, so damn TRUE. My voice was shaking, i'm about to cry, i know it, he sensed it and said " Are you crying? Please don't cos i hate people who cry." What!!!!!!!! He should at least use a gentler tone if he can sense tt i'm abt to cry right?? what kind of guy is he! I box*
I'm realli shaken up after this midnight call..i cried silently.

He is NOT sincere wat being so mcp. Wanhua, u are realli right on e nail about him...pei fu ni:P
I realli think tat we are not realli compatible, onli in e frens stage we can have such a serious problem liaoz and i feel so hurt and unhappy.-_-''' can't imagine e days if we realli get together. So being such a NICE, CONSIDERATE, CARING me:P, i gave in to him...i helped him with the site. Yea, i forgave him e next morning...wat to do? I dun like to stay angry wif someone for long, everything is forgiven but tt doesn mean tt my impression of his personality, thinkings, character, e way he do things has changed for e better..no. Think he doesn know tt this incident had already changed e way things are progressing. Yah i cnot accept. And i dun like people to chg for me, they will change if they think its for e better, for themselves, not for e people around them. Oh his reason for his OUTBURST is that he had a bad day. Yea right, bad day oso cnot take it out on me right? Not to this extent. Calling me ignorant somemore, hes oso ignorant of certain things tt i'm not ignorant of, like music? dance? wat does he know about them? zilch. Cannot compare ignorance like this, he shouldnt assume things.

Yah this is pretty long huh, thats my thots about him, sighz...not good at all. Guess age doesn realli matter..what matters is e person's character and his sensitivity to others NOT to himself(like in his case). Are all guys like this? After this incident, i know that i must stand my ground and not give in to him cos he doesn even give in to me in the lst place! K lah, very unhappy over this whole thing. Btw this happened on thursday, i din blog that day cos i was too emotionally shaken up. Give ur comments people.

Psycho man in MRT!

ok, i think i realli suay recently, yesterday got fever while in office, feels terrible man! ok, so i slept at 9:30pm, not interested in the results of S'pore idol, most of their voices so ordinary, american idol much higher standard lo, tsk* i onli like e "beng" lookalike(he claim hes not), he sing "open arms" realli nice!!!!!!!!! e other gal, olinda, and jesseca oso good, yah onli these 3 stand out, e rest ...yawnz****,so wats e results huh?

okay, my fever went away in e morning, but now think tt its back as i'm typing. Think office got germs, yuckssssssss. Yea, i'm promised 300 dollars for a simple 6 page microsite for Vertical Heights, okay hor shunling? i'm not very sure about e pricing stuff. so today must burn oil le, deadline's today actualli.

Yah, and i bought a slinky bra tt i like!!! from triumph, got a lot of straps at e back one, i always take a long time to wear, so confusing.

Okayyyyy, now i'll tell u all abt e psycho man tt i met in e mrt today. i was waiting for e train, then my neck stiff, i "crack" my neck , then got this bespectacled man walk past me, in his late 20s or early 30s lah, he stared at me then stopped walking and stand in front of me. Then he turned and "stared" at me lor, i was so irritated cos i thot he thot me weird to be twisting my neck at unsightly angles, like neck gonna break anytime, so i glared back at him, he looked away. fine-_-'''. but i think he recieved wrong signal lor...train arrived, i went to stand in e train segment there, e silver portion...he followed....keep looking, i was so pissed, i looked e other way purposedly. then he asked to "know me". i kept muttering no thanks, very loudly lor! he seemed to be deaf, asking me if i'm student, non-stop leh, i already said no liao mah, y cant he buzz off. i got scared cos he seem like psycho, i walked to e next segment of train, he din follow, phewz, so suay!!!! damn him, spoil my mood lor.

fever coming back, my hands are getting cold, in e office now, cya later k, byeee bloggie!

Sore muscles!!

Very sore!!!! Walking= sore tummy muscles, from standing to sitting, very pain!! wince* It was even worse when i got out of bed in the morning, ouch! My inner thighs, neck, stomach muscles are aching badly as i type, e result of not exercising for a long while to exercising daily(for e past two days--> jazz on mon, gym on tues) ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow.

Yea, he called me yesterday, thot he won't, so surprised tt he called, e stupid joker, still kidding as he talked, one word to describe him---> LAME and he says tt i'm childish somemore:P think tt he doesn realise tt he's oso childish in some aspects.

Has sore tummy muscles got to do with my tummy being taut and bloated? feels so weird, i dun like!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I scolded HIM

Yah he realli deserve e scolding, to think i apologise to him for that, now kinda regretted tt apology, wat e heck, cant he be more sensitive? Why must he hilight all e bad points of me, so maybe i'm petty, oversensitive, but hes not a friend to me lor...something alittle more then that now i doubt if hes realli more then a friend to me liaoz...sighz, always say i short, not pretty, blur, benben, and just now while he was claiming to be "joking" i was so bloody stressed up about my work loh, deadlines cnot meet, pple must help me do some of it somemore, i feel like digging a hole and hiding in there. Yah he did comforted when i told him, but why did he have to joke about my bad points? adding on to my unhappiness loh, office so damn suay liao, now his jokes, so i SCOLDED him lh, told him that i cnot take his kind of jokes about me, all girls in e world, who would like a guy(esp e one she likes) to criticize her? esp in e physical appearence, y cant he say something more comforting than his damn jokes?? And hes so sensitive oso loh, petty i think, diaoz, i girl leh, he guy shld give in to me wat, damn him lah, made my day worser and worser. I dun think hes gonna call today, it be a miracle if he does. i wun answer oso. show him whos boss!

Yah today went for jazz again this time Chenfu came along:P and e teacher made him do solo cos he sneak out of one floor exercise tt we are supposed to do in grps of 3 whahahahahaha:P evil grinz* e stretching exercises on e floor was real good:P made my body warm and tingle all over, wohhoo, boy did my muscles stretch :P now my butt hurts hee. We did ppushups, one handed push ups, situps, and alot more over 200 i think woohoo:P Went to Bab noodles after dance, hmm, i ate vermicelli with kim chye and tofu, realli yummylicious! korean food. yea me and shunling goin to gym tmr, hope tt i have an eventful day tmr, wish me luck k~ nights. two days to pay day btw~~~

Rotten Day!!!!!!!!!!

PUIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I feel absolutely disgusted with myself, never mind me!
Useless, grimmy thing!
PUI!

Open Waters~

Haha, before i type i gotta make sure tt its gonna appaer..dun wanna reapeat again...

When I reached e office, work was already piling up like FREE, like wat wanhua said last time haha, wat a good word to describe it, sometimes bored to tears sometimes so much things to do and it all comes together deadlines and start dates e same. Wah, I’m not super-woman okay! Yea, I had to leave at 2:15pm today to make it to my 3pm appointment at ttsh, so I skipped lunch and ate two madelines I bought from delifrance yesterday, its sort of a sweet muffin, yummy!! E rest went for lucnh though, left me in e office, trying to finish as much work I can before I leave e office.

Yea, had hoped that I would meet e cute doctor again:P but nope, sadz huh, a trainee doctor attended to me, declared my full recovery which means I won’t need to come for checkups at ttsh le! Yay! And this nice doctor oso gaave me a time-slot sheet stating that I was at e hospital from 3-5:30 pm so that I would have an excuse for not going back to work, cool doctor:P Anyway, he said that e syrupy medicine I had taken was used for shrinking e enlarged blood vessels near e anus area so that when passing motion, faeces won’t rub too much against e enlarged vessels, causing bleeding.

Yea, my mom asked me if me and him were involved in e romantic sense, but nope I told her, was realli surprised that my mom gave realli construcive comments, teaching me how to counterreact shld he ask this or that. Anyway, I decided to go for e show and let down my hair(meaning that I dun think so much, let so much worries pull me down,as in e diffs between us) , he won a pair of tix for a premiere show at 13th floor shaw tower when all e offices are. We had this goody bag with an ugly navy blue cap, post pads, mousepads, pens, yea, so far e poster looks e best:P

Yea I doze off due t e factor of today being a rainy day, hmm nice to slp wor! Overslept and hastily went put on mascara and eyebrow liner, hmm, and rushed out of e house, met my mom who was betting on soccer earlier.

Yea, there was one part of e movie which I dun understand, hmm, like why e guide counted 20 pple even though there were onli 18? Go FIND OUT urself! Haha yea, they drowned and died of dehydration. And he explained it to me! Y he counted 20, hmm, becos………………of SOME FACTOR, go read it or watch it urself, wun be boring, fresh storyline oso. Yea he has that “Lixuan benben” look on his face when he explained, I was like “Damn, y didn’t I understand it back in e cinema. Yah there was this guy next to me, very eccentric, always making nosies by himself! He sings oso…diaoz” not onli these, he likes to look at other pple, including poor us, wats his problem…….Yea, not a happy endiing though, it was e blair witch style in terms of e way it was shot(like blair witch project) with no subtitles.

Yea, he said that I have a Totally diff personality since our latest date, yea spilt personality wat:P talkative one day, quiet one day ahha. yah I ignorant again, he say-__-’’’ Yea I am since then much much at ease with him then before, I guess time realli plays an impt part in getting to know a person better, I feel almost totally at ease with him, this is e 10th day since I knew him, whao, so short a time.

Felt better~

hihi!!haha, i slept early , at 1:30am yesterday so din blog, wat happened yest?? realli bad, first, i was late for work, senior advised me to try and make it on time, arghhhhhhhhh, i am thin-skinned, so felt very paiseh, hmm today reached at 9:30, at least its an improvement. and lotsa work to do once i got here, and yea yest i work non-stop till lunch, and had to push away all my thots of OUR faced problems, realli felt rotten! and we din sms each other till lunch lor, feels kind of weird, thot he was angry or something, i didn sms him too, i had my pride k...haiz its hard lah.

eh ask u all hor, am i e quiet sort? yes right? even with very close friends ac linda wh and candy, i quiet right? then he insist tt its a matter of whether i wanna talk more...my mind got nothing to say wat, talk about wat? weather? food nice anot? wat??????? must got interesting topic lst mah, then got some landmark in S;pore which i dun know, some hotel in Raffles Place lah, oyah Westin Stamford is where huh? i know e places but dun know their names, then he say i ignorant!!!!! i blur cnot huh, ben cnot huh, guess i'm just being stubborn, yea shld read more papers and not be jin3 di3 wa1....-_-''''

yea, and he dun use terms like "cool", "bleah", cos tts for kids!! sadz, he sound more like elder bro sometimes and we both felt tt we have diff frequencies...sighz its gonna take a long time if we realli wanna get together we both agreed...no we are NOT in a relationship, y is everyone misunderstanding....

yea, yest we went for lunch together, ate chicken rice at international plaza, which he paid for...i felt abit guilty, we are not official yet, just very close friends, scary how i now know so much about a person in a week??? its exactly 7 days today hmm, realli SCARY. I think i was in a daze as i din say much throughout e meal cos i did alot of work non-stop at e office, oso was still unsure of how he felt towards my low confidence thingy we talked about last, last night.

And he realli is mature in thinking, i look blur he told me and tt i shld be alert all e time and not look so gong3! if its u guys, u would prob be teasing my blurness right? like commenting how i wldn't understand this and that, he didn't loh, he told me to be more alert for my own good...he WIN.

Yea, he did sensed tt i wasn't my usual self, and even more quiet then usual, told him tt i was too stressed when with him, cos i blur oso cnot, ignorant oso cnot, must constantly strive to improve he always say, like my teacher le lah..., and thats why we both agree that it wouldn't work out for both of us if we embark on a relationship right now, c?hes always so logical and clear about things, wat he want, analyse things and stuff, i'm not so CHIM, i'm simple he claimed, yea i admit so wat.

Aiyah, just take things slowly bah, wat to do? yea we are still close friends, and i've onli known him for 1 week, cant realli c e future in 2 years? maybe i might finally be with him in 2 years time? when i'm more matured in my thinking and finalli on similar wavelengths as him bah, yea sorted out liao lah, sort of, and yea hes coming to my hse on sat, we working on a project:P i just ate my lunch while i am blogging in office, gotta start work soon, bye!

Sad....

Yesterday night till now , has been e worst day i had ever experienced recently, i had abosultely no mood to blog yesterday. I suffer from fragile pride, low self-esteem with people around me constantly nagging. Tian ah, feels very bad!

Just don't have e confidence and scared to attempt e microsites assigned to me by him, sighz, i designed something for an edm yesterday and boy, it was not what he wanted, and i felt down, he sensed it, however hard i try to hide, and i refused to do e microsites in fear of e naggy voice in my head " Sure u can make it anot...?" yea and he was disappointed in y i was so unsure of myself. Was teary eyed lah, and i din do e usual sit-ups i do every night, just felt utterly bad! and exhausted and i went to sleep...morn my mom 's turn to nag. hmm...still feel very sad, gonna eat lunch wof him, hopefully i can straighten out my thinking, write abt how mom nag later, bye!

Jazz Dance

Just found out that hes e type of person who remembers every tiny detail of my life. Asked me today if i needed anything from Sim Lim.Yea, he was going to buy some dust print cover. I said no, and he asked me "You sure?" I was like, hmm, sure wat, i dun need anything...then he said, eh u gonna backup data from ur com right? enough discs meh? I was quite surprised at how he thought of me even when doing shopping and stuff, yea and he said tt i sounded stressed at e office, which is totally bingo lo. Hmm,can't hide anything from him, SCARY. And boy did we wasted alot of smses today:P

YEa , me shunling and Meitian went for jazz dance at Jitterbugs today:P i was e odd one out!!!!!!!!! of e whole class with tights...stupid cousin..haven return me my giordano track pants...,yea and i found out that i had realli lost touch with jazz techniques , sadz, i used to be from jazz dance in sec sch k...maybe too long nvr go dance liao lah, movement all so awkward, but nevetheless FUN! e teacher was very joky and she can REALLI dance, she can make a simple 4 step walk look so nice! got e attitude and skills, droolz, i wanna dance lk that too. Yea, people are realli funni, when we were spilt into two groups to sort of compete with each other, i DANCED WRONGLY!!! used my right arm with my right leg when its supposed to be left arm with right leg...sighz...y... but i think i will get better in time, hopefully its just tt i'm out of touch with jazz dance for 3 years. Gonna go next mon again..Meitian said tt she's not gonna attend le, cos she dun find dancing interesting, hmm, guess its down to me and shunling!! Gambatei! We will strive on~~~ gonna take salsa next after jazz:P

Warmth:P

From e time tt i sorted out my feelings, i went to meet him for e collectral show at PS GV cinema, yea missed e front part though, show was exciting, couldn't realli concentrate on certain parts of e movie when he held my hands to keep them warm:P but, hmm i got e main gist of the show anyway, highly reccomended!

We went Marche eat, both of us were very full in the end, couldnt finish e food haha, order too much liao lah.

Felt a warmth when he held my hands
From e heart it spread till my head and toes
E silence we had all so much in ease
the time together left me contented:P
And this i know is not pure infatuation.
For i hope to understand him in e days to come.

Night!

Haiz...

If only i could get out of my coccoon i've so safely weave around myself and booldly profess my feelings for tt certain soomeone..guess i'm realli inmature in this aspect..afraid to commit, scared to be hurt, scared to make promises though i realli think that this is not a CRUSH...sighz...think tt hes kinda disappointed that i din say out clearly whether its just infatuation or e real thing. But deep down i guess i know the answer...miss him like crazy when i woke up till now...i dont even have the mood for gymnastics olympics now...true love is scary...i'm afraid to try.

Butterflies in my Stomach :)

Was feeling very nervous when i went to meet him at hougang mrt, saw his tall lone figure at the ctrl. Went up to say hi, yea he was gonna lend me his notebook as my computer was gonna be fixed , and returned after two weeks.. think that i would be bored to tears without my beloved blog. Was realli surprised that he offered to lend me his as we hadn even met before..our lst time meeting..yea he was e type of person who could nvr run out of topics to talk about, yea and he found out about my alieness sense of road direction, yea i dun venture out of my hougang territory, onli to town, workplace and home:P Yea...went up my place and i was supposed to backup my data as repairing the com would have all data erased. Yea and he looks much better in person hee..esp e eyes, twinkling and smiling all e time:P Yea i WAS supposed to be doing that..but i just couldn concentrate , he could chat and set up e notebook at e same time, while i was struggling to coordinate my reflexes, chat and backup yea.. and i think i'm goin nuts, have that fluttery feeling in my heart and stomach even now that he was gone, dear me..wats gonna happen??:P and i did look thru his smses now and then yea whats wrong wif me huh?

Yea, he helped me configure my broadband account to his notebook too, me now typing these words on HIS com, e feeling is different, hmmmmm, nights blog:)

KTV

Hahahahha, this was e first time tt i think i realli sang badly at kbox..usually i taking singing seriously but not on fri, a bunch of screaming girls sing superstar:P standing on the sofa..e mimicking of titanic's " You jump, I jump" lines, my fren Yuhua was lk trying the titanic pose with Shunling and we took a picture...omigod it was damn hilarious!! i think i laughed till i had muscle spasms or cramps, and we shouted and shriek out e songs yea dun underestimate e lung power of a few girls, e guys acted as background vocals, yea it was realli fun! think we coould do this once in 2 months:P very expensive though..still think tt its wroth it for i did destress and smses from a certain someone realli did made my day..was very frustrated when my hp batt went flat...i cnot sms!!

We went buy food , sat at e mrt benches and chatted till dawn, i was slping with my head on my knees by then, too tired, and my head was swaying lk coconut tree on e mrt as Meitian claimed, yea gonna get one of e new tamagotchis someday, can breed with hers! Happiest weekend i had in months:P byez:P

Weird feeling...

Just couldn't concentrate on today's work!!!!!! argh..damnz, just felt like slping! esp in the morning, something was diverting my attention(all of it!!) away from work.. dunno if its a good or bad thing, so sudden somemore..but it felt very nice, hmmmm....then becos of this thing, i hardly did my work lo! supervisor ws urging me to work faster-_-'''' at this rate i think i will be blacklisted...sighz

My Problem: Couldn't concentrate, heart wasn't in it..thinking abt something else!!argh..... cnot tell u guys lah..very personal de... sianz...

I forced myself to finish e promo email direct mailer i was doing, left e office at 7:30pm..snail pace, poor Siva, must be tugging his hair at my incompetentcy...

And my poor feet! tortured by my new Charles and Keith shoes lor! Pasted three plasters each on e back of my heels oso pain!! was hobbling rather then walking, pure torture... skin peeling off for every step i take, cos rubbing against e merciless hard material of e shoes... Poor me!!!

In a dilemma right now, very confused about my own feelings and very tired! Can anyone save me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

E Village

Pple say that this movie is not nice..very boring, not scary, e neg points goes on and on blah..
but i actualli find e show interesting~ i admit..its supposed to be a horror show, but theres no scary components in e show..it looks sort of amusing instead

But thought that e director wanted to prove one thing:

People do things to e extreme once they gone thru some trauma.. like in this show..all e families of THE VILLAGE cut themselves off from civillisation due to terrible accidents tt their relatives, loved ones encounter... some got raped..some got shot etc...

their REASON: To preserve PURity and INNOCENce in e world that they lived in(e village)..isn't that real extreme? should go thru some counselling instead...r they realli happy to be living in that tiny village of theirs forever? technology is improving..yet so backward they remain... dun even have first aid kit medicine! how to survive for long...i realli feel sorry for their offsprings...and this movie is about the tragedy that e young ones ecperienced due to e kind of life and upbringing they had..watch!! to know what i mean~:P aw...me wet blanket~~

Us getting more and more excited!! for e jazz dance~ hope tt it will be fun! loong to feel myself work out a sweat as i did in my sec sch days of jazz dance, those routines and laughter, sweat and thirst:P

AND mine probation is ending on this thurs!yayayayy!! hope my pay has at least a hundred dollar increment! cross finger*** and i realli felt like part of e staff! gonna sign a contract later this week:P wish me luck!

Horoscope

My horoscope is so damn accurate!!!!
Now at work, cant believe tt its so true man:P

I got my toliet key!yay! got a feeling of acceptance in e company:P not a probation kid anymore~

Jazz and Salsa!

Went back to work today, kinda (damn) reluctant , cos was so relaxed for these few days..today must go back to face all e WORK again..sighz...not in a good mood...

Me went to Millenia Walk to sign up for jazz dance lessons today! didnt realli know where e place is..but i just walked with my feel and strangely i got there somehow:P Thot it was supposed to be located at some busy central place..suprisingly..all e shops ard were still in renovation...and the dance school "Jitterbugs" seems deserted..i was thinking god..i walked this far (like 20mins!!!) and its closed? The studio is all made up of glass panels, very dancey:P reminded me of my ballet days when e floors smelled of rosin and smeelly satin shoes, hmm realli regretted not continuing:( was realli fun but i let my LAZINESS got e better of me in sec2! Yupzz,decided at this moment tt i'm gonna continue with dance! think it was ard 4pm in e day when i got so enthusiastic that i msn Shunling(my fren) and ask her if shes game to join e classes with me:P
Theres this nice lady i think she dances, cos shes got s very nice slim figure who did e registration for me, helped shunling wif hers too, shes busy wif work as usual..ahhh we all workaholics! Yah, always strayin away from e main point..kinda gets my adrenaline up when i see pple in diff classes doing hip hop, tap dance, kinda interesting cos e entire school is made up of glass walls! and those wooden polished dance floors! yayayyayayyy! me so happy after registering!

Course title: Jazz 1
Registration fee: 25 dollars
Fees per lesson: 12 dollars

Venue: Millenia Walk #03-02
Date: Every Mon starting Aug 11th

KTV and Money!
Yep, we were talking about goin ktving this fri...26 dollars pax ahhhh damn ex..i burning hole in pocket already..dunno how i'm gonna save up money at this rate..need my ipod mini mp3 player too! 458dollars..haiz..money!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

My expenses:
Charles and Keith pointy shoes: $35.00
(got them in white at Marina Square's Charles and Keith)

ZA makeup remover : #12.90

topping up of farecard: $15.00

Dance registration fees: $25.00

Vegetarian food at Hpougang Point: $2.00

Wah...guess how much.....grand total of : drumroll~~ 90 dollars!!!!!!!!!
faintz... more then 1 day's worth of pay!
one day's worth of pay is ard 80dollars...

No more Blogging:(
My com is spoilt!!!!!!!!motherboard burned off, and e stupid cd-rom drive keeps opening and closing, kinda eerie at night..it always happens..but e good news is tt they are gonna repair e com free of charge! yay! we bought a guarantee for 3 yrs~ sadly, i might not be bloggin for 2 whole weeks due to this, they needa bring it back to their quarters for repair...!!! cry!

Eyeliner is a mystery~
Another thing, just started using liquid eyeliner but i realli suck at drawing smooth round lines...and to my horror, it always ended up in dotted and broken lines...y??????????? draw where e lashes are growing out i know...but how to since e lashes are blocking me from drawing a smooth line? if i drew further in it would smudge with my tears and my whole eyeball would be stained balck, look like thhose halloween monsters-_-'''''' realli need help..does anyone know how to draw?? gotta go kino and find reference le...think my eyes were red today due to e staining..poor me! and i just realised that my fren got a realli horribly ugly picture of me!!!!! showing e worst side of my poor single lidded eyes..wanna cry...he sending to everyone somemore, hope that they dun puke..nope, not gonna put it on my blog, no nightmares pls!

klah..chatted alot with my frens..very heavy and sore eyes, gonna turn in and slp! night blog! u are e best!

My 2 dollars worth of LUCK~

My lst Quick Pick

Bought a dollar's worth of Quick Pick and two groups of toto due to my mom's urging-_-''' ha..my lst toto k! Was so excited about the releasing of e toto results at 7pm..but yi1 chang2 huan1 xi3 yi1 chang3 kong1, chey! only one of my numbers that is 5 matched with the winning set, at that moment i felt cheated of my 2dollars! never was a lover of that toto org that gives ppeople false hope yet drain all tt money from us commoners! evil being disguised as some hope giver..pukez** Heres my toto tix..gonna keep them as a momento ..after all its my lst time wat..nvr gonna buy again..not in e long run:P

I think S'pore idol sucks...wif all those people being hooded by their own singing..can't they tell that their "singing" is such a far cry from Christina Aguilera..Mariah Carey...Brian McKnight etc???? Someone shld go unclog their ears! Judges were mean too..they laughed till tears came! Personality wise..still think that American Idol has a better balance of judge personality, Paula as the kind one, Randy as the happy-go-lucky guy..Simon as the cynical one...but wat do we have here??4 judges with equally cutting remarks and equally cynical-_-''' feeble attempts were made to be "nice" but ha..still tinged with sarcaism...both contestant and judge were equally bad! I dun like...

Sianz..tmr gotta work le...damnz..so very fast time passes..hope tt it'll be an eventful day..nightz!Muackz:P

I LIKE being FEMINIST~

Just got indignant since i started reading this book titled Tina by Norah Kay. Be glad that we lived in a world ever so free and that all man are equal..at least not that bad as e olden times.

A child is made by two willing parties but WHO gets all e responsiblities if one scum decides to shirk from his?

The victim and truly brave soul:
e GAL..having to bear with psychological and physical trauma, peer and family pressure, malicious gossips and unkindly smirks(wah go slap them pls!)
of cos..having even more admiration for one who stands her own despite all objections and pressure to keep e baby.

The SCUM
the GUY who walks away scot-free, and as heartless as they can get, they would not take responsibilty for what happened, leaving all e pooey mess to the GAL.

Okay, heres e lyrics to e song that clearly expresses my current feelings about this whole matter
by C.Aguilera whom i greatly admire for her vocals and attitude:P

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Can't Hold Us Down - ft. Lil' Kim
So what am I not supposed to have an opinion
Should I be quiet just because I'm a woman Call me a bitch cos I speak what's on my mind
Guess it's easier for you to swallow if I sat and smiled

When a female fires back Suddenly the target don't know how to act
So he does what any little boy will do Making up a few false rumors or two
That for sure is not a man to me Slanderin' names for popularity It's sad you only get your fame through controversy But now it's time for me to come and give you more to say
This is for my girls all around the world
Who've come across a man who don't respect your worth
Thinking all women should be seen, not heard
So what do we do girls? Shout Out loud!
Letting them know we're gonna stand our ground

Lift your hands high and wave them proud
Take a deep breath and say it loud Never can, never will, can't hold us down
Nobody can hold us down Nobody can hold us down Nobody can hold us down
Never can, never will So what am I not supposed to say what I'm saying
Are you offended by the message I'm bringing
Call me whatever cos your words don't mean a thing
Guess you ain't even a man enough to handle what I sing

If you look back in history
It's a common double standard of societyThe guy gets all the glory the more he can scoreWhile the girl can do the same and yet you call her a whore

I don't understand why it's okay
The guy can get away with it & the girl gets named
All my ladies come together and make a change
Start a new beginning for us everybody sing
This is for my girls all around the world
Who've come across a man who don't respect your worth
Thinking all women should be seen, not heard

What do we do girls?Shout louder!Letting them know we're gonna stand our ground
Lift your hands high and wave 'em proud
Take a deep breath and say it loud
Never can, never will, can't hold us down

Lil' Kim:
Check it - Here's something I just can't understand
If the guy have three girls then he's the man
He can either give us some head, sex her off
If the girl do the same, then she's a whore
But the table's about to turnI'll bet my fame on it
Cats take my ideas and put their name on it
It's aiight though, you can't hold me downI got to keep on movin'

To all my girls with a man who be tryin to mack
Do it right back to him and let that be that
You need to let him know that his game is whack
And Lil' Kim and Christina Aguilera got your back
But you're just a little boy
Think you're so cute, so coy
You must talk so big To make up for small lil' things
So you're just a little boy
All you'll do is annoy
You must talk so big To make up for small lil' things

This is for my girls...This is for my girls all around the world
Who've come across a man who don't respect your worth
Thinking all women should be seen, not heard
So what do we do girls?Shout louder!
Letting them know we're gonna stand our ground
Lift your hands high and wave 'em proud
Take a deep breath and say it loud
Never can, never will, can't hold us down

This is for my girls all around the world
Who've come across a man who don't respect your worth
Thinking all women should be seen, not heard
So what do we do girls?Shout louder!
Letting them know we're gonna stand our ground
Lift your hands high and wave 'em proud
Take a deep breath and say it loud
Never can, never will, can't hold us down
Spread the word, can't hold us down

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Its not women's fault that they have been becoming more and more feminist...its e circumstances and e lessons learnt from e olden times that taught us to be alittle cleverer..more independent and not look upon males as king! and we have oso proved to be as capable if not even more then e guys:P

Same goes for people being racist..just remember that we are all from e same human race and not that wee bit superior to others..be humble and work towards making e world a much more peaceful place to live in.

Cool brows~

Nice brows! I washed off the eyebrow pencil color tts y it looked so light..but tidy!:P

New brows!!

Yay!! I feel like a new person! guess wat? cos i just trimmed my brows!! Yepz, i booked an appointment with Shu Uemura at takashimaya, cos my cousin said that the trimming service there was rumoured to be quite good~ shes always very sharp in her judgement about fashion and beauty stuff so i took her word for it:P Reached there at 5:10pm i think..the counter was very crowded..3 very young girls were getting a makeover..hmm, funny..wonder why...they dun look like they are gonna attend some grand function or wat..just normal jeans and sleeveless tops, think that they are sisters..haha, me becoming more and more KPO recently:P okay..lets talk abt ME instead...waited a few mins before some satisfied customers left before the beauty consultant ushered me into one of those makeshift counters..with a oval mirror in front and those bar counter chairs tt can turn one..surface area very small, quite high off e ground..feels very unsafe ..like i'm about to topple off any moment..big butt!

Girls are realli tolerant creatures of PAIN! especially when they know that its for e cause of BEAUTY cum VANITY :P, i'm no diff from them...ouCH ouch ouch! eyes watering when firm professional hands held my face in place, plucking off stray unsightly hairs mercilessly:P Each pluck she made is like thousnads of needles poking into my brow area!! super duper torturous... i was like screaming out "Not Pain!" in my mind for every pluck she made..i think i chanted that over a hundred times bah:P yah..she turned away to converse with some old customer of hers and just then my left eye begin to water..and it was gonna trickle over anytime..so i opened my left eye alittle to let e tear trickle back in...just then i caught myself in e mirror in front of me doing that action and it looked like i had eye cramp or something! hastily i shut my eyes again before the lady turned back to me to continue plucking:P She oso trimmed and drew my brows for me by cutting the surface with some tiny scissors:P which i din experience when i previously went to trim..think it was Mac..yah..at Tangs there.. and bingo! i looked much energized!! my eyebrows have arch!!!!yay!!!!!wahooo!!! haha think tt i'm overdoing it alittle:P Lucky her..just earned another "loyal" customer(grinz* me!)..she is good, must advertise for her, friendly and pretty too:P yah..during e session..some customers came especially for her makeup services oso...i overheard with my eyes shut:P Brand new brows for 15bucks..real value packed!yea~

After that.nuthin much happened, just went edo sushi to eat..ordered curry katsu don..hmm very salty curry..not tt nice...cousin had been in a crazy spreeing journey thru some online forum called flowerpod.com, hmm think i'm gonna go there explore as well..cousin claims tt they have nice clothes there:P went to library borrowed some books and headed home..suprisingly i felt more confident now that i have trimmed brows! reallli amazing wat one trivial thing it might seem to others can realli make your day! kudos~ have been wanting to go for jazz dance lessons as well..in some jitterbug dance school at millenis walk near raffles place..think i'm gonna go enquire nxt week..a bit worried that i might not make to at 8pm mon..cos got tons of work..Oting everyday and stuff-_-''wun i be wasting money then?? must think carefully...144 bucks for a semester ...not cheap! hmmm..tmr got S'pore idol! yayyay! gonna be so damn entertaining~~~esp e bad auditees..i mean lah..i know:P Happy National Day Singapore!!nightz and i love u S'pore!muackz!

Touching Love Story~~

I'm back..after lazing ard for e whole saturday..feels good to slack:P Supposed to go wildwild wet today...but e two toots(u all bad!!) back out at e last min...bored to tears le lah..k..lemme share my thots after watching e romance movie starring Gu Tian Le as Ryan(damn shuai4!) and Yang Qian Hua as Alice(quite pretty!)... e gal is realli sweet!!!!!!!!!!! to e guy... damn..got my eyes red a few times..stupid guy..so thickheaded...nvr realise..

Its actualli a very simple story .
Where it happened: Their magazine company
The main characters: Alice and Ryan were colleagues..Florence is their boss.
E story starts when:
Alice was a newbie at e company....had a sudden nosebleed when they were having a meeting...and she gave a big sneeze AICHOOOOOOO! gueess wat? blood splattered all over her face and Ryan's office suit..e scene was realli hilarious lo..i laughed and laughed:P Ryan hopping ard realli mad at Alice..while Alice remains indifferent:P

Hes damn suay osos...cos e blood landed on his vital spot:P then he keep rubbing loh..damn funni!and his boss walked in just then to c him in this state...when he saw her, hes supposed to fall in love at e first sight of her..and he FAINTED whahaha, so cute!!!!

Alice went to interview some herbalist and got stranded in e mountains
Ryan went to her rescue...he spotted her slping and was walking towards her when she grab a stick and stuck it into his butt!!! hahaaaa, like e sassy girl movie leh! worse...poor guy shang1 heng2 lei2 lei3...feelin very apologetic to have done wat she did..she rub e guys bum LOL with grass tt she claim are herbs tt can heal his wounds(family's all made up of herbalists)

Their relationship got better and Ryan confided in her
Yah..confided in her that he likes their boss..then wanted to buy necklace for her cos she lost hers..Alice agreed to accompany him to buy...and she found herself in love with him..sad right...unreprociated love...

Gave him advice on snagging girls..helping him refurnish his place to please his
boss
Spend lotsa time together painting..choosing furniture for Ryans house and she fell deeper and deeper...kept a diary that confesses all her feelings for that stupifdd guy...dun know how to appreciate loh..so blur pot! Theres this one time when she and ryan were adding e last otuches to e house when thier boss suddenly drops by to his house...not wanting to ruin this moment that Ryan had been waiting for..she did not hesitate to hide in e fridge..wah..pei fu..dun ever think that pple in real life would do that hor...boss continued to cook e curry chicken tt Alice had been cooking...then ask for veggies..potatoes and she was about to open e fridge!!!!!!!!!!!!!then Ryan block! phewz** Alice handed him e ingredients that e boss wants from inside e fridge...sounds funny right??suppose to be funny..but i din laugh leh..just felt so sorry for e gal..sacrifice for him...yet at e end..he pushed her out of e house when his boss finalli went to e toliet...she shivering like mad lo..he onli entertain her by asking whether shes okay anot... then as usual..e sad music came on..wah..all my chicken hairs stand up loh..so sad!!!!!!!!!!!!Alice's face was like so damn heartbroken...damn tt guy lah!

Alice is heartbroken!
Guy still dun get e message -_-''' realli abnormal..went to her house somemore...dun like pple still wanna get so close to her..no wonder she so sad.. went to her house to interview her parents cos they doing some article on herbalists...then coincidentally they met Alice's matchmaking date..eyucks..those fat fat ones...double chin..beer belly eyucks..fresh flower on cow dung lo! claim to be wat kung fu champion...-_-''' shui2 xi1 han4!
Yah..and worse still during dinner..her parents keep trying to put her and that ugly guy together in front of e good looking one!!damn...Alice very poor thing! and its no wonder tt she couldn stand it any longer when even Ryan trys to match her wif that porky..and she shrieks(realli loud) "Guan1 ni3 shen3 mo4 shi4??" Then SLIENCE...and Alice drinks e whole bottle of realli strong wine...in 8 cups..before each cup she would mention e significant things that she did together with him..like "this cups for e time when i first bought furniture with u..cheers!" ..another one"this is e time when i first taught u how to please a girl..cheers!" wah damn sad lo..even her parents dunno wat to say..and tt porky left hahHA! Their parents brainless one..still dun know tt their daughter's love for Ryan is onli one-sided...and when Alice is helpping e drunk Ryan to their bedroom to rest, they locked e door...then tt stupid ryan keep mumbling Florence..I realli like you..blah...wah can imagine how Alice felt at that moment...she stepped back and kicked opened e door with her kungfu(oops forgot to mention shes an expert)
screamed at her parents: He doesn like your daughter! wah..e impact is realli there lo..my eyes was long glued to e screen liao.. sent Ryan home..so da4 fang1 of her..if it was me would have just let him sleep in e streets! and she forgot to take her precious diary back when she left his house...lucky..if not Ryan would nvr know abt her feelings...

Ryan confides in his long time supervisor/Alice quits her job
Alice overhears their conversation " What i feel for this gal is that we are realli happy when together..comfortable but i just dun have e xin1 tiao4 de4 gan3 jue2..hurting Alice even deeper and guess wat..easy right..yesh..she quitted her job to avoid any more agony

But in the end..this guy finalli chose Alice:P and realises that " the heart thumping effect that Florence has on him would not last forever..its e memorable times that he and Alice had together were priceless and wonderful...cool guy..finalli understood! he was beaten up haha by her parents when he went to look for her..but fiinalli caught up with her(she ran away when she saw him) and said" You are beautiful " and then went on to put on e necklace he had meant for Florence on Alice!!! cool lo! VERY TOUCHING..super duper lo..eyes red again..damn..dun think theres anything close to this in real life... people just aren this dramatic..in real life..always too reserved about their feelings..prefering to hide or run away..seldom we see ppeople being so honest..lets be honest..how many girls would realli be tt honest and true to her own feelings?? people tease you abt this guy u admire and most of u would go" yahyah..mad ah..dun have lo..wat on earth would i c in this hguy?" just to ward off all e teasing..same for guys too..in front of their guy friends..most of them prefer to act macho..and boast about e number of conquests that he had..eew..real disgusting!! so sweet...realli hope that everyone would have at least one sweet romance where e feelings are honest and e memories so sweet and that it lasts foreveer:))))) sighz...damn sweet..gonna rent it to watch from that amk video shop:P night blog!muackz~~~

Script till siao!

Finalli back..feels weird not to blog for 1 day:P People are commenting that my blogs are ultra long, i like them this way cos i get to write even e most insignificant thing that might seem interesting to me boring to others but interesting for me:P

The game tt i've been wrking on seems like a nightmare , always coming back to haunt me..on thurs i discovered another bug: there are supposed to be three different outcomes to the game..u win the game and it takes u to e congrats screen...u lose e game when all ur lives are used up..it takes u to e game over screen...e time runs out..it takes u to the tmes up screen...e prob is that it goes to e game over screen even when e time is up...took me damn long a time to figure this one out...turns out that i have a conficting script line which i dun intend to use and i forgot to comment it out-_-'''' BLURPOT!!!!! wakie! Yah ..then they wanted to add a sound switch on and off....yah theres more probs....but ti finalli solved them all! grinz* yup, satisfaction was there...i need to buck up on my scripting le..not good enuff for me..

My poor senior has more work to do, e microsite...e ads....she has to supervise my scripting for e game oso...but she handed over e ads part to me le..i'll be doing a mpu and a towerboard for e ads part... like my senior more and more...taught me many things...e ways to do things more efficiently...always offering advice:P kudos~

The lst time i went home with my Senior
It was thurs night...suprisingly at 7:30 pm..everyone was gone..usually all will stay till very late..like 9-10pm? can claim cab fare wat:P then e project coordinater ask us to add e sound on and off button to e game...we wracked our brains but couldn come up with a good solution...finalli she called our production manager and he agreed that it was not tt urgent so can leave it and continue e next day..yay..though not realli early..but i went home earlier then usual:P , senior locked up e office and asked" U taking e NEL mrt? Lets go back togehter..." i mumbled a yah in reply ...felt a little nervous cos nvr went home with her before..and we onli talk about work in e fofice..so was quite worried that converstion between us will be stilted later...damn..i realli hate those awkward silence...and i followed her out of the office..

Haha, our conversation still revolved around work and actionscripting...she picked up scripting herself..cool...and i thought of my class...we had actual lessons lo and i think most of us are not as good as her-_-''' ..then while we are waiting for the train i dunno wat came over me and i suddenly blurted out"Do u have any kids?" when i realised wat i said..i was like"u mad izzit???y e qns no link one???e jump so huge-_-''' pple do strange things...she looked suprised haha..der..i mad wat..and replied smiling ..er no...then i hastily said..oh becos recently this fren of mine got maternal instinct then wanna get married and have kids..then guess wat she said? "Good wat.." without thinking i blurted out "Good meh? so young leh!" "20 not that young wat.." haha, totally diff opinions..shld have gathered up courage to ask her when did she get married..think she must be happily married to think this way... totally different for me...saw alot of depressing situations of unhappy families and relationships lately..real life...happening around me..now feel realli pessimistic about relationships..., at this moment..my opinion is that...i must depend on myself...be independent..not to rely on others... relationships are secondary...think all e brainwashing from my mom and wats happening ard me has finalli began to influence e dumb optimsitic me... yah then we talked about the other colleagues:P got gossip lah..but not those bad ones...yah then she mentioned a guy..forgot his name..but i remembered his characteristic..ahha WASHING POWDER guy..i said and she laughed ahhaha, quite funni...the conversation is beginning to feel more comfy le:P cos tt guy smell realli strongly of washing powder! :P
and she dropped off at farrer park:P i think i did pretty well..at least i din stoned:PP

ok..rewinding....back to 12:30 pm in e afternoon, we went for bdae celebration..one of my colleague's bdae... at a dim sum restaurant... its amazing how this finger food can realli fill me up...i took just one piece out of every dish ...its ala carte buffet sstyle..over 15 kinds of dim sum.. with ard 8 types of dessert...noodles, porridge balh...damn full! and everyone made fun of me...say i picky, must eat more so that i can grow! cos i dun like siew mai, all fatty meat wat...quite smelly oso..and i skipped some dishes..cos realli canot eat le..wait tummy bulged out ..i wearing skirt..can see very easily..very ugly...i like e squid and fried prawn fritter..theres this mango prawn tts quite nice too...quite ex though..ard 20 bucks pax..i like the interior..its sort of palace-like, like those old fashioned tea inns u see at e gu3 dai4 dramas, got a picture of smiling buddha oso, fatfat one, alot of people there...

The WEIRD delivery man
I hao xin...opened e door for the delivery man waiting outside of e office...he kept staring at me!!!!!!!!! think hes mad...i mean pple open e door for u cnot be rude right? must say thank you lo...and its that kind of delibrate stare lo...turned and stare 3 TIMES lo...made me wonder if i have some rice on my face or some smeared mascara on my eyes lo..bad!

No OT!!!yay!!!finalli at fri..got no OT...finished e canon game for now..phew...not much bugs le..just that e deadlines for other projects are nott tt tight..can afford to go home early:P

Smelly NEL underpass
Have u ever noticed that e underpass from outram park station to EW line has a very funny smell? like poo...its near e elevator there..think tt smell came out of the pump room, gross!

K lah...me tired le...gonna write more after NDP:P i wanna watch e fireworks! nightz gibberish,muacks~

My Graduation Ceremony

The day has finalli arrived...e good old days just seems like yesterday...i woke up earlier just so that i can pluck my brows, ouch...e pain can realli wake me up in the morning, stopped halfway through plucking cos my mom's screaming about tardiness..yawnz...like everybody will be early
-_-''', i drew my brows with a newly bought brow pencil, which are now two straight lines..no arch..die, damn ugly..Shu Uemura better save me from my brows agony! Put on some Loreal liquid foundation..skipped e loose powder..cos e color i bought seems darker then my skin,had bought it in e new year in Espirit Red Earth... stupid salesgirl...should have trust my own judgement, think shes trying to sell off e color tt nobody wants... some pink and dark red eyeshadow..big mistake..made my already beady eyes look even puffier..like i've been crying or been punched in e eyes! Cousin is right.. single eyelid girls realli shouldn't attempt to put on eyeshadow..not nice!think i look better off without e eyeshadow! I shall learn how to apply eyeliner this week! Perk up my eyes alittle, always look like i wanna fall asleep with this hated eyes of mine, stupid ugly eyes!

Anyway when i reached..i saw my friend and guess wat...he wore a tie! so long2 zong4! his parents were taking some photos of him, me was smirking at his long2zong4-ness while my mom was repeatedly nagging, e same lines" See? Told you pple would wear very formal clothes luckily u din blah blah..u can guess e rest-_-'''

Was abit lost when i found myself standing alone in the vast auditorium having not found my friends, went to queue for my number, we would go up on stage to recieve our dip cert based on e order of our numbers...after that we were seated..damnz, no frens beside me lo..and e "famous" dreary long speeches were droning on and on by whoever..wat guest of honour, chairman blah person..yawnz~ who cares...think they shld cut e speech short..go straight to the point! and DUN REPEAT points mentioned! for example..he said" e design industry is currently developing..u are lucky to have studied this tt is in high demand now ...i know tt its very encouraging but well.....everyone is nodding off after a mere 5mins -_-''', I like epart when e speeches were finished! relieved~ A short film about us was then being shown...snippets of our DMD life, in e labs, doing work, our showcases, projects, fusion...all evidence of e tremendous hard work k! not fun k...i guess we were sort of consoled everytime when we finalli managed to scrape up something in e nd..all e fruits of our labour! maybe tts considered e fun part of it, e end result..I still remembered that time when i was doing e five-foot-way educational cd-rom project with Qing and Meitian..think tt it was e project tt i felt e happiest while doing..guess horoscopes and personality realli do matter.. e threeof us blend in together like coffee and milk mate would do, not that we don;t have our own opinions, we do! its just that we compromise and speak our thoughts out loud when we have disagreements but strangely no one was offended...guess e two aquarius gals and 1 sagi listened to logic instead of always defending our own ideas..always think of e big picture, this was e first project where:

Everyone has a share in e thinking and developing of e concept and ideas, no one was left out:)
Everyone has a definite role in the project, no slackers:)

We were enthusiastic in what we were doing..e project was fun!

We did crazy things that tickled us to death laughing when we were e last ones left in the studio(everyone else has gone home) drew cartoons on e blackboard, Qing with her trademark toothy kids..meitian with her cartoon bao1(bun)Our weird way of releasing stress:)

For e first time..i started actionscripting on e bigger project other then assignments, so much satisfaction when i could make e toothy kid walk along the streets, cut up some you tiaos, and some other interaction with the street hawkers(in e cd-rom duh), made me like scripting even more:)

Encourage each other on e way, when we were tired or unable to resolve certain issues..problems(inevitable right?):)

I gained something very precious too: The three musketeers became much closer then before:P

Just as i finished reminiscing, the film was over..applause jolted me out of my reverie...Time to go up there to collect our dips..just hope tt i wun fall and trip or something, i keep reminding myself to smile!! hard at e photographer who was taking individual photos of us..pitter patter my heart goes..funny...why i felt nervous..its onli a damn cert...suddenly..e truth fell hard on me, i AM GRADUATING! Seems so real, at this moment...

After that, us headed off to take some photos..i took some with my mom..ugh..so many shaky handed pple out there..e photos are very blurry !@#$@! my mom isone of them-_-'' i give up...
we went off to e reception..they shld have given us abalone feast...we slog for 3 years leh! like e speeches mentioned..we slogged like mad to meet deaDlines,work in ungodly hours, hardly sleep, all nightcats! The food was all right..i like e kueh lapis! yummy! e rest was average fare...we decided to go someplace after this reception to feast on better bites, Delifrance! yay...kept e nostalgic stories flowing as we travelled on e mrt to city hall, my stomach was beginning to churn , yea..e phobia of returning to work! esp when i have to debug my game..sighz..a nightmare! Ate jacket potato, realli nice! then me and Shunling gotta rush back to work, would have liked to visit Qing again but me l working lah..kinda weird without her during e graduation and work..she kinda becoming part of my life le, get well soon! Siva cumin to visit u soon!:P

SENIOR WAS DAMN NICE
She helped me debug e timer prob..turns out that i should have got a additional timer value from the onClipEvent(load) instead of only relying on e current timer in e enterframe event, solved! i oso managed to debug some other bugs, maybe e good food i had earlier cleared my mushy brain:P Confidence in scripting rose again!:P

Think my company is very happening...tmr gonna go celebrate a colleague's bdae at some dim sum restaurant, mm, yumz, think at this rate i'm gonna have to exercise..i have fat phobia! doesn feel good..me and my fren are thinking of signing up for yoga! yea~ heard tt it destresses

My cheekbones and jawbones are getting wider!!!!!!!!! DIE! got big face! when did tt happen! notice that n my photos! hope its becos of e hairstyle i have on me now..not becos my bones are undergoing some mutant transformation! Moanz...You can see it in e graduation group photo tt i gonna upload..-_-'''sadz man..

My moms gonna use e com, i loggin off..bye gibberish , cya later!!muackies:P

Me and Shunling..Charlie Angels!(pukez)**

Me and Yuhua! Black is in:P

Shunling, Yuhua, Me, Jinny, after reception in e lounge:P

DMD graduation! Flying off from our NYP nest:P

Not so bad a day~

I lost and gained something today..

LOST and FOUND: My mcs!! All along, they were in my handbag compartment! Faintz! Is this a joke or wat? Even my sharp-eye mom din spot e mcs!! Faintz again... to think tt I was in e dumps e prev day when e mcs were with me all along! @#$&* BOX*

LOST: As usual, god(if theres one) has a way of making my things disappear after one another..today it was my thumbdrive...brand new, could hold 32mb of files..i remembered saving my workfiles into e thumb drive this morn..and putting it into my bag..but couldn't find it when i reached e office!! Hope it turns up soon like e mcs :P

MISUNDERSTANDING-_-''':P
I wanna clear up some misintepretion i made in my previous blog, my new colloeague who is working as a temp is actualli a very nice person! grin sheepishly*
Turns out that she was Evonne, e previous designer who was working here before us, that explains for her confidence and efficiency around e office..she made some small talk with me when i arrived in e morning shortly...introduced herself and explained tt she was here to help out temporarily until Qing recovers and comes back to work. She is just so easy-going, chatting abt everything that i found myself relaxing and engaging in a comfy conversation tt was real unusual for me, was sorry that i misunderstood her, guess i should never judge a book by its covers yea...she mention apricots as a very good cure for constipation:P

NICE PEOPLE
Just started working in CNET..for 1 and a half months, my colleagues gathered around to choose a GET WELL hamper(online) for Qing when they visit her(ard e few days this week) nice right? Just known each other and yet they care! Ask me about my condition too! Even Evonne knows about my piles now! My supervisor is cute, y did i say that? No..not becos i have a crush on him or wat..he phoned me from outside to ask if Qing likes Snoopy! Haha, a grown up guy actualli puts thot into e gift! Guess he did notice e soft toys that we brought to the office. I hugged a pig while working while Qing hugs her woodstock:P

WRONG WAY TO STRUCTURE E ACTIONSCRIPT OF GAME!
Realised that i did not structure my scripts carefully enough..i was lazy and did not put much thot into it..went for fast results and as a result..i was in hell throughout e day trying to DEBUG!!!!! Damnz, the game timer could not reset! cos i placed it in a movieclip..shld place it in the timeline and let it loop instead! Manage to solve other issues though thank god...i an always grateful that things do turn out fine in the end(not always), like today. Have to face e stupid timer prob tmr after my graduation ceremony tmr..hope it realli turns out fine, e ceremony and timer(cross fingers*) Designer life is not good..will die early from the stress, always feel so drained after i finish work, ard 8:30pm today...dun think i can last a whole lifetime...and people think that designers have fun doing work all the time..a big WRONG, no..we have deadlines to follow up on, with all the other departments putting stress on us! In fact..i think a life of a designer is e most abnormal kind of many types of working life..i rather be a musician, stewardess, social worker anytime...

TINY PREPARATION FOR GRADUATION CEREMONY TMR MORNING
I bought some mascara..went for e Loreal double extension waterproof mascara due to e influence of her advertising it wepartment stors, well shall give it a try..n e department stors, well shall give it a try..my lashess,ealli could do with some length and thickness, gonna pluck my brows on Sun..made an appointment with Shu Uemura cosmetics counter..hope they do a good job..i have realli ugly brows how do e artistes achieve their beautiful, flawless perfect brows?? I should go for tinting someday, decided to paint my nails a sparkly pink! later i guess, gotta trim some stray brow hairs, getiing thick yet light coloured!yucks!

I shall make an exception and sleep at 1am today(considered very early for me:P) Strangely i don't look forward to e graduation ceremony tmr...guess e novelty of graduation is beginning to wear off for me..now a weary ADULT(hate to be one) struggling to make ends make in life...e plus point of tmr morn i get to see my friends again:) gonna take lotsa photos! and i shall upload them into gibberish! Gonna lunch with some close frens after e graduation, should be quite fun to catch up on what each other has been doing for e past few months:P yay!:P Qing not gg to be there:( shall take lotsa photos for her! Yawnz..contact lenses getting dry..falling out, gonna sleep soon. Do hope that my pants fit, taken care not to stuff myself with food today( which i usually do, ravenously hungry after a day of brainpower draining work...) Do hope my pants fit, growing fatter recently!!!!!
Nights! Love u gibberish:)

P.S:

Too happening!

I shall make todays blog sweet and short~

Today i was real UNLUCKY-_-''', u shall see...

BAD NEWS

• i lost my 2 mcs tt i was gonna pass to my supervisor for my absence on last thurs and fri, remember my piles and e doc? was in a realli foul mood when i stepped out of my house to work, e rain added on to my wrath..
• Was bombed with endless piles of ugh...work, piled up since my absence of rwo days from work..
• Had to finish the canon game by tmr! this oroject was a week one..verY crazy, even school assignments had at least 3 weeks of timeline...i miss e good old days.. gonna work till my eyes pop out...shall go to work as a walkin dead tmr.. oh i wanna watch the Village! anyone?
• Was stuck with alot of actionscript bugs in my game, my brain is gooey, i just stoned, two days break and i turn to mush...
• My dear fren QQ is not at work...i miss her...was surprised as i dun usually miss people...life is just much more interesting and heartwarming with this cute fren ard..
• Someone who was new took over her place!!! sucks man...dun realli like her oso, her confdence about every thing puts me off..she didn talk to me btw..i din too:P
• I slipped and did a real embarrassing turn on my tiptoes while walking out of e mrt train...damn! y am i always caught in this tkind of situations...yesterday e prawns incident..now this..i already have low self-esteem for these few days..must god(if theres one) take this little piece of pride or wateva u call it away from me too??
• Had to take my work home to solve...i'm not a robot k!
• I think irealli look dumb or fierce when i;m standing at e side of e mrt train...cos theres this couple whos opp me..e guy keep glancing at me like i'm some kinda freak, gimme a break..i'm tired!

GOOD NEWS( pathetic few)

• Supervisor didn't ask for my mc, so i asked him and he told me tt i could pass it to him later grinz*
• I pooed today! and theres no sign of blood! Hurray! piles piles go away, don't haunt me..forever again!:P e doc and medicine rulez!
• Great dinner by mommy as usual! Got my beloved veggies , sweet sour pork, fried egg! yumz, ended off with a crunchy green apple and a choc (my aunty who came from spain bought an assortment of spanish chocs over)
• Pockett horse was real entertaining! relived e tamagotchi craze tt i din know still existed in me, think my cousin got addicted too, she was at taka today..toy fair not yet ended and she helped me bought another one as she was getting one more for herself, we can have multi horse racing when we meet on sun! yay! can't wait:P

Oki, gotta go back to my pukey work! bye blog!muackies and i'll be back coon!

Cruelty!

How do u define cruelty? For me..seeing live prawns slathered with butter...writhering on e bbq steamboat board is enough to make me lose my appetite for prawns..even dead ones.. i mean its really gross lo! Letmme explain..today, me ,my cousin, my mom, aunty, spanish cousin with my eldest aunt( married to a spanish cool right?) , grandmother went to Zheng Fa Huo Seafood buffet...realli cramped in the bus..thot pple usually stay indoors on sun cos got sch or work tmr wat funny.. anyway we were quite excited when we arrived at e place..very dirty and oily floor , muddy footprints made out in greyish seafood water from fresh seafood in e buffet area, nearly slipped many times, but they had quite a variety of seafood...we were ravenous, hungry..so all went piling plates high with food..there was satay (quite nice but alot of fatty meat), steamed buns..plain, fried, redbean filling( all quite nice), fried chicken, samosa, spring roll, curry fish and chicken..sweet and sour pork, fatty pork..ketupats, mee goreng, bee tai mak, beehoon, kway teow, fries, chee cheong fun...siew mai, fishcake otah...and some other stuff i couldn't remember..such a huge variety on the cooked food alone! Its half e price of Seoul Garden yet tripled its variety!

For seafood, they have all sorts of mussels, oysters, scallop!! my fav:P live prawns, crabs, sotong, fish, had quite a fun time prying open e scallop shells and digging out e white flesh!yummyz, best to bbq it with alittle butter and eat it without dipping it into any sauce, its sweet succulent and fresh juices realli did make me high~:P

Now comes the prawns part...my dear cousin and aunty calmly took e still alvie prawns wriggling for their dear lives and place them directly on e bbq board...one of them leaped off the board towards me...i let out a scream...immediately e people sitting at e tables around me turned and looked at me(maybe i'm being paranoid again), damn paiseh!!!!!!!! stupid prawns...so scary! so what if its really sweet and fresh to have them cooked alive? made my stomach churn just to see them in this tortured state..i stuck to my steamed buns and satays instead and opted for e frozen dead prawns someone else brought back..gross! How could one stand to have a whole tub of prawns leaping beside them? My popo...she has no feel!!! realli weird! At first, she placed e whole tub of prawns beside me...but seeing my exaggerated response to her action( i inched at least a metre away from the table) she placed it next to my spanish cousin,phew...
And was i REAL GLAD when my aunt refused to let my prawn lover cousin eat more live prawns becos of its high cholestrol and becos of its unorthodox method of killing them,haha poor gal..sulked for sometime,,gave up and ate mussels instead...dun find them nice oso..got a stinky pooey smell, they all weird people..i ate more veggies and cooked stuff like beehoon and satay, fries , samosa then e seafood that its famous for...me weird oso:P my onli fav seafood is squid, but alas..they dun have very good squid..all tiny juiceless things...not very fresh somemore...disappointed sia..but e scallop is nice..can try..

Didn't realli eat that much...but was bloated for some reason..so just picked at e veggies and stoned till they declared that everyone is full and we could finalli go home, while we were at e bus stop, me and my cousin opened our pockett horses bought at e taka toy fair earlier..its something like a tamagotchi but with more features...and its realli cheap..2 horses for 3dollars! even e battery is more expensive then 3 dollars?? Always a kid at heart, i realli find this gadget interesting! kk, heres a peep at my horsey! my is brown , my cousin's is white..gonna meet next week to let them breed! cool right? grinz* I'm very tired..tmr still have to go work..shall explain its features tmr..night blog! very full...

Pockett Horsey! 

Health Freak!

Today was special for me, for once i actualli ate healthy! Heres my diet for e day:

Woke up at 11plus today, saw VJ Linda at scv cable chn51, she has a perfect figure, after seeing her hosting e Linda Xing1 Xian1 Huo4 Fresh! show( exposes viewers to a variety of e latest fashion from different countries, be it clothes, makeup etc.)

After watching that, my motivation to eat healthy got bigger:P and i ate for my breakfast:
A cherry and blueberry muesli bar from uncle Toby's, which tastes realli good! and its healthy too , has alot of dietary fibre, good for flushing out toxins and clearing our body system:P

Ok, as e lazy pig tt i always was, didn't incoporate exercise after eating though..went on watching Kylie hosting Feng1 Shen2 Bang3 same chn , sort of a song billboard..F.I.R topped the charts as usual...gettin bored of them..someone..pls take over e lst place!

Read abit of Jacelyn's diet book after e chart show, yah got mmore motivated and i planned to get brown rice, enoki( those jap golden pinhead mushrooms..mmm oishi!), broccoli that was mentioned in her "slim foods" in NTUC which was a 5min walk from my house:P Just got on my shorts, as usual wished fervently for my thunder thighs to miraculously disappear one fine day and got out of the house..yah, i got out of control when i saw my beloved enoki for sale! 2 packets for e usual price of 1..usual pricing was a dollar for a tiny packet..real ex huh? i bought 4 packets:P Bought some broccoli as well, wah..since when did veggies got so ex??long time since i took on e role of obasan..squeezing between e middle aged women who were all fumbbling for e freshest veggies and bargains, god...was becoming a real obasan when i realised that i was actualli picking on those broccoli thats lighter cos some of them got realli thick stems making them heavier and therefore more expensive as it was 45cents per 100 grams..ex right? hunted high and low for my brown rice but couldn't even find white rice! gave up when images of me struggling with my heavy purchases esp with tt sack of rice flashed across my mind...-_-''', bought some sweet peanuts(can't live without them btw), dried tofu cubes, Gardenia's multi-grain bread highly reccomended by Jacelyn Tay's book again:P and headed off happily to e cashier to make my purchases, me left as a very satisfied customer grinz* Bought some chicken porridge without e century egg they usually include with e porridge yucks* not nice and yet high in calories, a packet of chicken rice for my brother and lugged all e packages home..pantz* luckily din buy my brown rice...

I realised one funny thing:
The usual super-paranoid calorie counter(me) for e lst time did not count e food calories tt i ate! realli shen2 qi2 leh...maybe its all healthy food thats y i feel less guilty when eating w/o having to worry much about fats and calories:P

Ok to recap and add on to what i ate:

Breakfast
1 Uncle Tobys muesli bar---> 500 kj=117 calories(rounded off)
a few grapes--> calories unknown
Lunch
Chicken porridge from food court--> calories unknown
sweet peanuts---> 139 calories
a few grapes---> calories unknown
Dinner
Vermicelli 1 ball with enoki, alittle minced meat, 2 fishballs and xiao bai cai--> calories unknown
Broccoli with dried tofu and alittle minced meat--> calories unknown
4 slices of fresh plum--> calories unknown

Took my piles and constipation medicine
But look at e above food...aren't they not full of fibre?? broccoli, veggies, muesli, fruits...then y did i still get constipation?? not fair! But do u guys think that its alot of food for a gal leading a sedentary lifestyle? Hope not! i dun wanna get fat! cryz*

Hope i get better soon, hate to have a bloated stomach u know....think i'm realli an abnormal little kid who can remember wat i ate to so much detail! -_-'''

Okay, me loggin off soon, just started reading DEAR BOYS comics tt i found on my brother's bookshelf..shall tell you abt them another day after i finish reading grinz* night blog!